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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23552353">Shaky</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkknightsrevenge/pseuds/Darkknightsrevenge'>Darkknightsrevenge</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Cloak &amp; Dagger (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, additional member of the team, cloak and dagger meets MCU, uncontrolled powers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 17:27:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,055</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23552353</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkknightsrevenge/pseuds/Darkknightsrevenge</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Becoming an Avenger isn't quite all it's cracked up to be. One minute you're eating cornflakes and the next thing you know, you're in a conference with Nick Fury." Tandy Bowen, aka Dagger, is picked up by SHIELD as infinity war looms closer. With uncontrolled powers and PTSD, Tandy struggles to fit in with the Avengers. Thor is sympathetic, Loki even more so. War is coming.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Loki/Tandy Bowen, Loki/Thor/Original Female Character(s) (Marvel), Loki/Thor/Tandy Bowen, Tandy Bowen/Tyrone Johnson, Thor/Tandy Bowen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Shaky</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
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      <p>Becoming an Avenger isn't quite all it's cracked up to be.</p>
      <p>One minute, you're eating cornflakes in a Manhattan diner to stave off exhaustion and shock. The next thing you know, you're in conference with Nick Fury, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, and the Asgardian God of Thunder because you keep having light shoot out of you at inappropriate times.</p>
      <p>"So, your name is Tardy-"</p>
      <p>"Tandy." I said quietly.</p>
      <p>"-Bowen. A.K.A. Dagger. You're from Long Island originally. Your folks have money, but they think you died in a mugging on April 1, 2012. You've been homeless since. Am I missing anything?" Nick Fury said.</p>
      <p>"Um, no." I replied, equally as quiet as the first time. My hands were shaking, so I clamped them between my knees.</p>
      <p>"You were fighting crime in the lower burroughs with one Tyrone Johnson until this evening, when the incident occurred."</p>
      <p>I flinched hearing Ty's name. The images from that night- earlier that night, in fact, were playing across my mind whether I wanted them to or not. I put my elbows on the table in front of me, noticed my hands were still shaking, and covered my eyes with one hand. The shaking was threatening to engulf me.</p>
      <p>"Miss Bowen?" Fury continued.</p>
      <p>"Come on, give her a break. Can't you see the kid is exhausted?" Tony Stark broke in.</p>
      <p>"T-the light has been happening for a while." I said. Fury and Stark almost missed me speaking. "Since just after the mugging."</p>
      <p>"Tell me about that." Fury said, tapping his pen on the table. I cleared my throat.</p>
      <p>"I don't know how long you've had eyes on us, but Ty and I had our super powers since May of 2012." I said. I reached out for the previously untouched glass of water one of the SHIELD interns had poured for me when I was brought in and drank it all in one gulp before going on.</p>
      <p>"We were kidnapped by Simon Marshall soon after we met. He held us for over a month in one of his Manhattan labs. While we were there we were test subjects for a drug called Silverbane-"</p>
      <p>"Marshall's project for the Maggia, a type of synthetic heroin." Fury finished. I nodded.</p>
      <p>"That shit killed hundreds of kids on the street." Tony commented. "How did you survive?"</p>
      <p>"I-I don't know, it gave us the powers instead." I said, clearing my throat so I could continue. "We ran away, using our powers to escape and burn Marshall's lab to the ground. He wasn't going to hurt any more innocent kids like us."</p>
      <p>"Your power is emitting light at will. What were Tyrone's?" Fury asked.</p>
      <p>"Almost the opposite. He sucked the light away. That's why he took the name Cloak."</p>
      <p>"Cloak and Dagger. Creative." Captain America said. It was the first time he'd spoken up since I'd been there. Thor had also been strangely quiet. I pushed on.</p>
      <p>"Tyrone and I needed each other. He needed periodic doses of bright light to... feed off of. And I needed to burn it off or it would become too much to control."</p>
      <p>"I see. So your powers are more or less under your control?" Fury asked.</p>
      <p>"Um. More or less. It's difficult when I'm stressed." I replied.</p>
      <p>"What kind of light are we talking about?" Tony Stark asked. "Are we talking atomic blast kind of light, or just a little glowing?"</p>
      <p>Fury tapped a few buttons on his holopad and held it up for Tony to see. The rest of the Avengers looked over. I winced as the sounds of earlier that night began playing from a video clip. Three gunshots, followed by a yell and my voice screaming. I didn't want to hear what came next. There was humming sound as a purple glow began to enfold Ty's body, and a loud pop as he disappeared.</p>
      <p>"No!" I yelled, momentarily forgetting where I was and slamming my hands on the table. The wood cracked. A bright white glow began to appear around the corners of my vision and papers began flying around the room. Fury dropped the holopad on the table as footage of my earlier self erupting in a bright white light played. I was shaking now, unable to harness my emotions. Fury drew his gun, making my heart race. I had to stop it, had to regain control, had to-</p>
      <p>"Easy, kid. We don't want to hurt you." Captain America said, out of his seat and advancing towards me. I tried to tell him that I couldn't help it, but my jaw was clenched so hard I couldn't speak.</p>
      <p>"The sun is going down, sun's getting realllll low." Thor's deep voice came. The phrase was oddly calming. I squeezed my eyes shut and listened to his deep voice. <em>"The sun is going down."</em> I pictured it, the sun slipping down over the skyline. Ty and I had seen it many times on our nightly treks through New York.</p>
      <p>Before I knew it the hot white feeling zapped away, and I was collapsing back into my chair feeling drained. I felt sick.</p>
      <p>"Works with the Hulk." Thor said. "Thought it was worth a try."</p>
      <p>"Holy shit." Tony said. "I could have roasted marshmallows with the heat she gave off."</p>
      <p>"Incapacitating in the field, I assume." The Captain agreed.</p>
      <p>"Let's not be too hasty. She needs to go through the training regimens that all new Agents have to." Fury said, reorganizing his notes. I kept my eyes focused on the table I'd accidentally destroyed and tried not to shake. It felt like I'd rattle to pieces if I lost focus.</p>
      <p>"I think that's enough for one night, Fury." Thor said quietly, his one eye fixed on me.</p>
      <p>"The flashlight kid's been through the wringer, let her get some rest." Tony agreed. "We have other messes to clean up."</p>
      <p>Something deep inside me stung at being called a "mess to clean up" but I didn't let it show on my face.</p>
      <p>"We don't expect an answer tonight, Miss Bowen, but we will need to know if you'll join the team or not." Nick Fury asked. I blinked and looked up at him.</p>
      <p>"Join... the Avengers?" I asked. "I'm confused. Don't you have other, better recruits to do that?"</p>
      <p>"Thanos is going to give us the fight of the universe when we finally track him down. We need all the help we can get." Fury replied.</p>
      <p>"You don't even know me." I said. "Don't know what I can do. I want to go home."</p>
      <p>"We've had you under surveillance for some time, Bowen. We know who you are. We also know that you don't call Long Island home. If you want to return to the streets, fine. But we're giving you a chance here. " I leaned back in my chair and put a shaky hand to my head, overwhelmed.</p>
      <p>"Take her downstairs, Thor. She can answer later." Fury finally said after I didn't make any more attempts to say anything. He looked down at his holopad and I realized I'd been dismissed. I pushed myself to my feet. Thor was already by the door.</p>
      <hr/>
      <p>Thor didn't say anything as he led me down a couple long hallways and into the elevator. As we went, we began to pass foreign-looking people in the corridors, despite the early hour of the morning.</p>
      <p>"These are the quarters of my people, the Asgardians. Our world was destroyed in Ragnarok and we were forced to seek asylum here on Midgard. The Iron Man has been hospitable." Thor said as we passed a couple of women who bowed their heads to him.</p>
      <p>"You're the king, right?" I said as we went on.</p>
      <p>"Indeed. Since my Father has passed from the realm of the living, I have ascended the throne."</p>
      <p>We passed a few more people who bowed their heads, and then we ended up at a large bay window overlooking a large cargo hold. Down below, Asgardians moved between tents, passing food and water around, leading livestock from place to place. They had created a whole community in SHIELD's basement.</p>
      <p>"They look happy." I remarked.</p>
      <p>"Happy to be alive and out of the uncertainties of space." Thor replied. His brow creased. I meant to ask him what he meant by that, but he began walking again and I followed silently.</p>
      <p>"This should suit you nicely." Thor said, when we'd reached a closed metal door. He gestured down the hall. "The rest of the Avengers are housed on this floor."</p>
      <p>"Okay." Was all I managed to say. Thor pressed a couple buttons on the door panel and it whooshed open to reveal a small living space.</p>
      <p>"The showers are to be admired." Thor said. I looked down at myself, the blood on my jeans and shoes, the ratty t-shirt that probably should be thrown away. I couldn't really remember the last time I'd taken a real shower, Ty and I had been living on the streets so long. I was still staring at myself as my eyes began to fill and spill over. Then I was crying in the hallway in front of the God of Thunder. No big deal.</p>
      <p>To my surprise, said God of Thunder reached out and put a hand on my back as I silently shook.</p>
      <p>"I am still unsure of Midgardian customs, but I believe this to be a comforting gesture." He said, giving me a pat that made my knees buckle.</p>
      <p>"We all had times when we were new to this... Avengers thing. You will know the right choice to make when the time comes." Thor said.</p>
      <p>"Thank you..." I said quietly. He nodded, then turned and left me with my silent metal room. I crossed the threshold, then looked at the door panel. There were a lot of buttons on it, I assumed the one with the picture of a door was the close button. The door swished shut behind me as I pressed it.</p>
      <p>Slowly I began to undress, folding my clothes neatly and piling them next to the bed. I didn't want to wear them again, but I saw little choice. I went to the shower cubicle and studied the various buttons there too. I pressed a few until the water was hot enough, and began to scrub away the feeling of the was right, the showers were to be admired. But even under the hot spray I felt cold and shaky.</p>
      <p>I missed Ty. There was an ache in my chest that was only growing as the hours between our separation piled up. He was my friend, my confidant, my partner. I'd thought there was nothing that could separate us.</p>
      <p>After showering I sank down on my bed, unsure of what to do next. I was cold, but I didn't want to put my clothes back on. My teeth chattered with the chill in my little metal box. The next logical thing to do was to go to sleep. Try to go to sleep.</p>
      <p>But how could I, with the events of the day running through my head? One minute I'd been staring at my best friend's bleeding body, then I was eating corn flakes at an all-night diner, then before I knew it I was in the back of a SHIELD van, the windows blacked out to prevent me from seeing where I was going. Now I was in the heart of their fortress somewhere underneath the Hudson river. My head whirled.</p>
      <p>Somewhere in the midst of my internal monologue, my hands started shaking again. I stared at them, and as I watched, a faint white glow began to emanate from them. The glow proceeded up my arms and down my body, gently heating me as it did. When the light stayed at that level for a moment, I was able to relax.</p>
      <p>Slowly, I crawled under the thin military-issue blanket, stretching out and staring up at the ceiling. Anxiety clawed at me, threatening to make my light burn brighter, but I focused on keeping it dim. The room glowed gently.</p>
      <p>"The sun is going down." I said softly. I pictured the skyline of Manhattan again, Ty's arm around my shoulders. "The sun is going down." This time I heard Thor's deep and gentle voice.</p>
      <p>"The sun is going down."</p>
      <p>Before I knew it, I was asleep.</p>
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